The Contest

Win a Contest For Your Fraternity Because You’re the Only Nerd They Have Day!

All the other competitors have either been knocked out or are in drunken stupors frolicking in the beach sand. You, because of the various nasal sprays you’re on, can’t drink and have a clear mind. Looking in the distance, you notice Beef-cake, your frat brother, there cheering you on as a single bead of sweat runs into your eye. It stings, like the pain of being the only nerd in your fraternity. Even though they only like you because do most of their homework, you feel a special connection. They’re the only friends you’ve got, and they promise to get you laid. You regain focus. Game on.

Now it’s just you (the nerd), Iris (the girl of your dreams) and Philopia (a badass Ethiopian chick who loves C. Thomas Howell). The topic of today’s “Inane Trivia Smackdown”: C. Thomas Howell. Admittedly, he’s a good actor, but devoting a whole trivia contest to his work boggles your mind. Nonetheless, you’ve been able to dig deep and hone your skills. You’ve seen Soul Man five times.

Next round. You kick ass. But so do Iris and Philopia. You’re beginning to tremble. These girls are good… too good. You silently curse yourself for not joining the C. Thomas Howell fan club.
The judge reads from his card. “Next question. What role was C. Thomas Howell nearly cast for in 1985 that was ultimately given to Micheal J. Fox?”

You stare blankly in front of you. There’s the multitude of hot babes in bikinis cheering you on. Well, you stare nearly blankly. Those babes are smokin’ hot, after all. The crowd begins chanting, “Go Nerd. Go Nerd.” You can’t think straight anymore. You write an answer down, hoping beyond hope you don’t f*ck this one up. Looking down you quietly pray to the C. Thomas Howell gods.

“Reveal your answers, please. Nerd, you first.” You turn over your card. It says, “Marty McFly in Back to the Future: Part I”. The judge looks at you sagely and says, “Hmmm… We’ll see. Iris, your answer please.” Hers reads simply, “Teen Wolf”, but she made the e’s into wolf eyes with a growling mouth below them. Oh, you love her. Your eyes meet hers and you enjoy each other’s awkward smiles. You wonder if she likes you or is just being nice. The judge looks to Philopia and asks, “And you, the beautiful Ms. Philopia Tubes.” You wonder why her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Tubes, would have named her that. She turns her card over. It reads, “Doc Hollywood.”

The crowd is silent. The cheering has stopped. Everyone knows that this is the deciding question.
“It looks like this is it.” The judge shifts in his chair. Even more tension fills the air. “And the answer is: Marty McFly in Back to the Future: Part I.” The crowd erupts in merriment as party confetti falls all around you. You hardly notice, though, when look over to Iris. She walks up to you and softly kisses you on the cheek. She smiles and then disappears into the confetti. You smile and once again pray to the C. Thomas Howell gods. “Thank you.”

Happy Win a Contest For Your Fraternity Because You’re the Only Nerd They Have Day!

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